Last week on ‘Top Chef’ Seattle, the chefs paired up in a market based challenge. Josh and John decided to throw their styles into a blender despite “hating” on each other constantly. Every single chef failed miserably at the elimination challenge. Tom, embarrassed by their display of stupidity on a plate, came in and snatched the $10,000 prize like a scorned beauty queen snatching the winner’s weave. They also sent two chefs packing after the disaster. Team CJ and Tyler left with their tails between their legs. Click HERE to read the full recap…
The chefs return to the kitchen for their Quickfire and welcome Marilyn Hagerty who single handedly went viral for her critiques of ordinary restaurants like the Olive Garden. They are all challenged to make a sweet and savory holiday dish from their lineage. The catch? They only get one knife to use between all the contestants. Josh grabs the knife first as other chefs go Macgyver and use pizza cutters, meat slicers, metal spatulas and scissors to chop their ingredients.
Marilyn dubs Bart’s chicken and waffles a failure before announcing that Micah’s “taco” (tamale) was too dry too dry. Old people are so cute sometimes. She then praises Josh for his Johnny Cake, Stefan for his attractive plate and Brooke for her fancy apple pie. Finally, a girl wins and Brooke gets immunity. Padma pats Marilyn on the head and sends her on her way.
The Elimination Challenge welcomes Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. Danyele’s eyeliner is so distracting. It has nothing to do with the challenge other than it is visually disturbing. Apologies, ahem, the chefs must please Anna and Chris for a party with their family and friends. The winner will get a new car…provided their creations don’t collectively taste like feet. Josh and Stefan have a moment and he falls into the appeal of season five’s villain. He once crowned him a douche canoe (thanks to my former awesome English teacher for teaching me that one), but they are now best friends and have tickle fights.
John is outsmarted by the door and crashes into it after their run to Whole Foods. Danyele and her insane bottom lid eyeliner she appears to have put on with a jumbo Sharpie, are nervous that her pork chops are a little too thin. John, who has recovered from getting his rump kicked by the door, is droning on about being taught by the Obi-Wan Kenobi of seafood, Rick Moonen. He is confident his chowder will be the prettiest princess at the ball.
Danyele and her pork chops are overdone. She stresses to Josh who gives her “sorry about your luck” while mentally laughing manically. Chris and Anna welcome their family and friends. The judges along with Obi Wan Kenobi of Clams show up to lay down the thunder. Bart is first up and serves elk, Brooke follows her lamb, Sheldon created pork belly and Stefan whipped up gulasch. Sheldon pleases Anna. Bart’s elk needs some salt, but everyone seems to like it well enough. Anna is ready to bathe in Stefan’s gulasch, Brooke’s lamb makes Chris’ eyeballs pop out (in a good way) as his mom pops by the table to tell some baby stories.
The second round of dishes consists of Kristen’s pasta fancy-fanciness in a bowl which gets high praises while Micah presents pork ribs and he gets an F. Lizzie has some salmon that lacks flavor and gets compared to a Filet-O-Fish circa McDonalds and Eliza’s version of elk that gets bland ratings.
Danyele’s wild boar pork chop gets is voted bland and cooked improperly, Josh hands out his pork shoulder which is deemed good not great and Josie has her short ribs which get a “meh” before we come to John’s clam chowder. Rick awards him with praise and calls the dish a “hug from the ocean.” Padma is ready to roll in it naked and pronounces the salmon skin “divine.”
John, Kristen and Brooke are called out first. They represent the top dishes and get a hearty pat on the back. I want to see Sheldon win with his slightly timid ways, but Brooke wins. It’s refreshing to see some girl power taking over, but Sheldon needs a hug or a sticker. Something!
As for the losers…Micah, Eliza and Danyele are beckoned to the bottom. Micah weakly defends his dish as the Pork King gets a verbal smack from Padma. Eliza’s gives some sort of weird attempt at either sarcasm or over the top ass kissing stating, “I want to thank you for your feedback. It truly is a humbling experience.” Eyeliner McGee, er, Danyele is about to cry as she explains that she is stressed, nervous and holding back.
In the end, Eliza is out. She offers a nod to each judge as she “is fighting a cold” and doesn’t want to contaminate the panel.
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