Last week on ‘Top Chef’ Seattle, Stephanie Izard, season 4 winner, briefly reappeared to run the Quickfire foil challenge. The best were then forced to choose their competitors for a head to head elimination challenge. Stefan and John battled it out as John threw Stefan and his frozen tuna under every available bus. Daneyel was eliminated, but the dramz continued in the stew room as Josie and Stefan went a round’ after he tried to dig his victory into John for the hundredth time. Click HERE for the full recap of last week’s episode.
The chefs awake as Stefan explains that Josie is just “hard to deal with.” A quickfire note sends the chefs to get their ingredient. The car’s tiny computer wizard divulges that their destination is a shellfish market. They harvest some oysters and Josie gets stuck in mud and Micah falls in while helping her out of her hole like Pooh Bear. John is a master of the oyster because someone VIP taught him or he worked in a shellfish labor camp. Whatever. I stop listening to him about 3 seconds after he opens his mouth.
They meet Emeril and Padma back in the kitchen to create a oyster in the half shell dish. They have 25 minutes to create an impressive dish for the New Orleans cooking deity. Bart’s champagne and oysters failed along with Josie’s chorizo and oyster creation limped in the bottom along with John’s foamy madness. Lizzie, Micah and Brooke get the favorites position with Micah coming in first. The single dad wins $5,000.
For their Elimination Challenge, the chefs must cook in teams of 2 for the Rat City roller derby girls. They pair off and John immediately attaches himself to one of the stronger competitors. He looks over Micah’s shoulders and asks “Brooke-y” to be his partner. She explains that she doesn’t think their personalities mesh well, but she can tolerate him better than anyone else in the room.
Stefan and Kristen team up because they are thisclose to hooking up if they haven’t already. Bart manages to get paired up with Josie as Josh and Sheldon form an alliance leaving Micah and Lizzie to find each other. The attend the match and Josie is ready to pop a long annoying the other competitors to the point she leaves to be abrasive and loud with people who appreciate that sort of thing. As she leaves, she knocks beer over on Josh.
They arrive back at their digs after the match and Josie passes out on the couch as Stefan asks what happened at the match. Josh explains that Josie is just being Joise – loud and obnoxious. Micah adds that, “Everything that came out of her mouth during the match was not important.” Josie springs back into life from her slumber on the sofa and starts yelling about being a tree that knows who she is. Micah steps in and tells her to sit down. She responds by calling him a gay man hiding in a closet.
Bart and his electric yellow/green/pink paisley shirt comfort her as the rest of the chefs scratch their heads in a WTF was that moment.
They arrive at the rink and begin the onslaught of cooking and hungry patrons. Bart tolerates Josie well and explains that Belgians are civilized. They start seasoning and marinating as Brooke and John have a tender moment. John apparently went through a bitter divorce that ended with his wife taking his daughter away. Not sure if she moved to a distant planet and his spaceship is in the shop, but the details as to why he doesn’t have visitation are not revealed. Instead, we move on to the fast forward version of cooking.
The judges enter and are joined by each of the derby girls whose namesake their are cooking for. Kutta Rump likes John and Brooke’s hunk of meat. Teriyaki Terror isn’t impressed with Bart and Josie’s rice is overcooked, the meat under seasoned. Jalapeno Business likes her crab stuff jalapeno and the dish wins Tom’s praises. Stefan and Kristen’s corn puree chicken liver for Eddie Shredder gets a mixed reception. Tempura Tantrum gets a yuzu that is less than pleasing.
The judges decide to retire to their VIP Judgement table. Padma calls John and Brooke along with Micah and Lizzie in first. They are giving a treat with Padma praising their dishes. Emeril loves Brooke and Micah’s work. They nab the win. John whines about finally winning, but having to share the winner’s title with Brooke. Stefan and Josh muse about their dishes before John as his smugness walk in and send back Josh and Sheldon along with team Josie and Bart.
Bart claims responsibility for most of the work. Josie weakly explains that she thought the flavor of the beet would carry the rice, but Tom pulls out his none existent hair while scolding that bland + some flavor = bland.
Josh and Sheldon have no real defense. Instead, Josh, despite his waver stating he isn’t trying to “pull a CJ,” he pulls a CJ and tries to throw the jalapeno popper dish into the bottom dwellers. Tom explains that the dish was superior and the work put into it brings it out of the “concession food” realm.
In the end, Bart is sent packing for his terrible teriyaki. He gives a slightly arrogant goodbye before we get a glimpse of next week’s episode featuring the chefs making past dishes.
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